I almost puked up the new Oreo Coolatta

[New for Summer 2012, returned for Spring 2014, returned for Summer 2015]

I try really hard not to be disgusting on this blog. I want it to be the kind of blog you can show your kids without fear of scarring them for life, or even for a few moments. However, even I have my limits and I literally almost puked up my Oreo Coolatta while coming home on the Mass Pike Friday night. (Note: The Chips Ahoy! Coolatta isn't much better)

Sure, he looks innocent enough, but evil lurks inside!

This all started earlier in the day when Nick mentioned he saw a billboard for a new Oreo Coolatta (and donut). As the official biggest fan of cookie & cream in the northeast, I immediately clicked over to the Dunkin Donuts website to see the newest creations first hand. Not only does the Oreo Coolatta actually exist, but it comes in both Vanilla Bean and Coffee flavors. Wow, color me impressed DD.

I debated how long I would wait to satisfy my curiosity about the new treat.... but then realized I should wait for dinner.... then I remembered I needed some gas.... which just happens to be next to a Dunkin Donuts.... it sure would be a shame to drive off without trying it.... oh yeah! There's a big poster in the window advertising the Oreo Coolatta. We're going in!

I pull in next to local radio celeb Lyndon "LB" Byers and follow him into Dunkin. We chat about his Bruins days for a sec before placing our orders (just kidding, I let the man be, we've both had long days). I ask the lady if I can try the new Oreo Coolatta and she looks a bit puzzled. She calls over to one of the other ladies and she gets instructions regarding what to do. [Unfortunately, the only word I understood was "tres".]

I watch closely as my coolatta is made. In goes a squirt of vanilla and then three huge squirts of oreo cream flavoring. Wow, that's an awful lot of cream in my cup. Then goes in at least 3 big scoops of Oreo cookie crumbs if not more. It gets blended up and handed to me. I take one more quick glance over at the Oreo donuts and head off to the car (they have both a standard hole donut and one that's filled).

Oh was I excited to take that first slurp. Hmmm, interesting. The cream flavor is way more potent than expected. It's also kind of weird because I've had so many cookies and cream shakes that it's weird to have a similar flavor yet have it be so liquidy. I think I like it, so I continue on.

With every sip, the cream flavor builds up. I start blogging in my head and decide that I'm going to call this a "cream and cookies" coolatta because the cream flavor is so overpowering. The sweetness is starting to get to me. I don't know if it's artificial or just too strong.... yet I continue on. I do love trying new coolattas and I'd at least like to make it through the whole thing when I try one (a small 16oz size that is).

Ok, the cream flavor is becoming too much. I try to eat a couple pretzels but it's too late. Oh man, I'm gonna hurl.... quick: try something not salty... not working.... quick, open a window.... not working... try some minty gum.... oh man, so much traffic - so much urge to hurl...debating pulling over --- ok, I'll stop.

Why did I share this terrible story? I don't know, because I had to? I felt compelled too? I think the lady was suppose to do -1- squirt of cream* and -3- scoops of Oreo, not 3 squirts and 3 scoops. Oh man did my stomach pay the price. Even 4 hours later, I still feel kinda wonky (though much better than I did immediately after). So, I understand that this was probably just a fluke, but be careful. I may think young, but man my system couldn't handle the sugary creme overload.

Sorry, I couldn't resist but show you what it looks like after it sits for a few hours. 

(I made it pretty far through my coolatta before the trouble started)

My wife and I have always been very much in tune with each other. People think we are joking, but here's a great example. While I was buying my Oreo Coolatta (without her knowledge), she was busy bringing me home a slice of Oreo Stack from Barnes and Noble. I had a few bites and it's very tasty though unfortunately I don't have the stomach to finish it at the moment.

Verdict?  A vomitous fluke
Buy Again?  Once I mentally recover from the experience

*Dubba's Note: We've had a few people check and they definitely messed up my coolatta.  I just want to clarify that a lot of people are enjoying this brand new 2012 coolatta and I'm guessing I will too next time. I'm just going to pay close attention next time they make it.

Dubba's 2014 Note: I never went back for the coolatta in 2012, I was glad it was missing in 2013, and now that it's back in 2014, well, I'm still scarred enough not to try it. That said, I did just eat an Oreo Creme Donut and that was pretty good with all of it's fluffy white filling inside.... I just got it with a strawberry coolatta to be safe.