Breyers Blasts Chocolate Covered Pretzel FDD

[New for 2013, discontinued] If there was just one Breyers Blasts flavor that I had awesome hopes for, it's this one. Oh sure, my reality-based expectations are low, but part of me has hope behind hope that somehow this one works. With fingers (and toes) crossed, may I present...

Breyers BLASTS! Chocolate Covered Pretzel Frozen Dairy Dessert

chocolate flavored covered pretzel pieces and a fudge swirl

 in golden vanilla flavored frozen dairy dessert

Oh yeah, you know I'm headed right for one of those big pretzels first. Oh boy! They're stale! Yay! Sufferin' succotash! I get a bit of initial crunch but then a stale thud. Let's try this again. Mmmm, cheap chocolate swirl. I swear I'm trying to be fair here. Ok, that third pretzel was a little fresher.

It's not terrible terrible, but it tastes cheap and old. My daughter says it tastes like caramel to which I quickly reply  "but there's no caramel". Funny thing is, then I start to think I taste it too. Maybe that's the "golden" part of the golden vanilla flavor? A little hint of somethin' somethin' to give it an edge?

I'm sorry, I'm trying to like this but I can't. Breyers typical terrible frozen dairy dessert texture is here and I really don't like this budget fudge swirl. Actually that cheap tastes extends to the coating on the pretzels as well. I don't care if this is cheaper than Ben & Jerry's, it's still not worth it.

Final two pretzels, one almost fresh, the other very soggy. There is a bit of a salty kick if that's what you need. Very few ice creams have that, but then again, this isn't actually ice cream is it?

On Second Scoop: I really want to love this one, but I'm getting hung up one inconsistent pretzel chunks that are made more noticeable by that gummy frozen dairy dessert texture. Make this with real ice cream and a real swirl, and you'd be good. As is, it's ok, try it if you want, ad then move on (and wait for Turkey Hill's version coming back in June)

Verdict?  Cheap (but ok-ish)
Buy Again?  NOPE